today was a stressful day. today i almost let my co-workers in on my state of mind. i love being happy. but i'm often very sad. it's my family history and lack of family i guess. but i still consider myself lucky :)
it's easy to when i'm being harassed by tibby-cat for snuggles while typing. or when i'm listening to meiko's sweet voice. it's a good feeling to know that even though i have to be at work at 8:30am every saturday, i have a regular paycheck every tuesday evening that i can spend on pretty things. this week i can actually do that as i'm on track with my moulah. i'd love to find a pair of really nice shorts. that make my butt look good, while still fitting my waist. it's near on impossible i swear.
ramble ramble.
it's nice to see feathers and birds are in print-wise, after confessing my love for them over a year ago. it's not so nice that i feel like i'm in a frump. no exercise. lollies every day to get me through work. i need to start running. but i get short of breath. so short of breath. so easy.
i can't believe how far i've come in a year. last year i was pretend happy. this time i'm real... real. my emotions are real. i'm going to get help for the real lows and i'm enjoying the genuine highs. i'm getting somewhere. today was stressful. but there's always tomorrow :)
i miss blogging. i miss having time to read and having time to write. i'll make more time.
7 comments:
Oh Eb, I've missed you recently.
So glad you're able to appreciate the real highs now. Everything passes and hopefully the bad times will be done with more and more quickly until they're barely there at all.
It's great that you are acknowledging your emotions rather than pretending to be happy. I hope the blog helps you release some stress! I find that putting it out there sometimes helps me recover more quickly, ya know?
I hope you weekend brings happiness, dear :)
I'm glad, too, that you're realizing your emotions better. I hope everything works out for you, and I totally know where you're coming from with all of this stuff. But even when highs aren't there anymore, know that you're cared about, even by random people half way across the world who've never met you, and have only commented a couple of times :)
Ebony! This is a bittersweet sort of post today, but I'm glad you are happy. I feel the same way lots of times, sort of... melancholy. But you have your kitties, and your David! And as Shannon here said, remember there are people here who care, and will always be here to read what you have to say, no matter how happy or sad it may be; and while stress comes and goes, there will always be people in your life that care! And feathers are wonderful, I'm working on a painting of one! They're fun :)
All the best,
Liz
I think it takes courage to be so honest about your emotions. I certainly tend to keep things to myself because honesty, true honesty, embarrases me. It's a good thing to get out. You should be so proud!! I missed your updates ;)
Ebony you have never been more right, this too shall pass. It is healthy that you are addressing your feelings. You are aware of what is going on and you are very strong. I miss seeing your posts, I know you will have something wonderful to share once you get into blogging again :) miss you lady!
XOXOXOX
~Sara
DO make more time, even if they're erratic, mini catch up posts of pictures or sayings :) I miss your posts more frequently! Your cat sounds like a diamond keeping you company jazzy ♥
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